Author: mohsinalshammari.com

What is your potential? To be clearer, what is your real potential? I am not talking here about what you can do, I am talking about what you are able to do that you are not doing. During our life we gain knowledge, relationships, and experiences that make us grow and become better people overtime. However, what we have gained cannot be beneficial to us and to the people around us unless we use it. Let me give you an example to clarify what I mean. Imagine that you read a lot of books about the “deafblinds” life and how they can communicate with people. Imagine you know a lot about that subject that you can give a lecture about it or even write a book. That amount of knowledge, connections, and experiences you have about this subject are your potential when it comes to this subject. If that knowledge was not used then the person who has it has a potential power that can be transfer into something meaningful and helpful.

If you don’t use it then that potential can stay within you until the day you die, untouched and sadly unnoticed. So how to take advantage of what you have? To answer this question, first of all, you have to know what you have. You cannot take advantage of something you are unaware of. Knowing yourself and what you have is the first step to understand your potential. I cannot emphasis enough who important this step is. Believe it or not, you can do way better than what you are doing right now, you definitely have the potential to be a better person.

Once we discover our potential then we can control it. We can use it, as well as, add to it. While it is important to find your potential, it is even more important to find the true and real potential not the fake one. You are capable of achieving a lot, however, you might lake some potential that is necessary for certain achievement. Don’t lie to yourself and assume that you have what it takes if you don’t have it. Understanding your true potential includes recognizing things that are out of you reach. With that been said, once you know your true potential then you can grow it and increase it and control it.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

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As I mentioned in my other post, high expectations should be applied to ourselves not to others. Seeking happiness through giving to others implies that you should rise up your expectations of yourself and lower your expectations of what you are going to receive from others.

Reach out to others and offer your help. Most of people will not ask for help even if they needed it, their dignity is stopping them from asking for it. Help them, give them a hand, and give them hope when they are hopeless. That can be achieved through helping them overcome some obstacles or even dealing with bad habits or any other matters.

“In my life I’ve learned that true happiness comes from giving. Helping others along the way makes you evaluate who you are. I think that love is what we’re all searching for. I haven’t come across anyone who didn’t become a better person through love”— Marla Gibbs.

Once you help someone then complete your action by keeping it between you and them. No one else needs to know about you helping others. If you are doing it so people will know that you are a good person (look at him!! he is so generous and kind) then that all what you will get. You will gain publicity or maybe a good reputation but no true happiness will be achieved. Talking about the good things you did to others can consume the happiness you will be getting before it reaches you.

The ultimate form of nobility is achieved through helping others for no other reason than to help them. The best kind of giving is when you give without seeking any return, not even a small or smaller return on that. Not even happiness. You are giving to others because you feel it is your obligation to help them and that’s it. You might receive back good words, or even good feeling; however, you are doing it without waiting for anything in return.

“Giving back is as good for you as it is for those you are helping, because giving gives you purpose. When you have a purpose-driven life, you’re a happier person” — Goldie Hawn

By giving to others, without attaching any expectations to it, you are actually giving to yourself a lot more than what you give to others. You will be receiving happiness.

Let me know what do you think. Share your thoughts with me leave a comment bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

What are your passions? What are the things that you feel happy and motivated doing and working on? Most of us know what they are passionate about when it comes to things outside their workplace. That can be their hobbies, sports, or other things. Some of us don’t even know what they are their passions which is a problem. If you don’t know what your passion are, you are missing a lot. I will be writing about ways to find your passions in my next blog.

According to Gallop poll

“70% of American hate their stupid jobs.. There’s a reason why they call it “work.” If it were fun or easy it would be labeled accordingly”

This is a huge number, 70 percent of American don’t like doing what they are doing, why are you doing something you don’t like? Well, they work to get paid. Let face it, a lot of us delay doing what they are passionate about until the weekend, a vacation, or even until they get out of work. There is no problem with that. We go to work so we get paid at the end of the month which will allow us to pay bills and other expanses. But what if the same job that you do, and get paid doing it, is something you love and is something you are passionate about.

Finding what we are passionate about as a function of our purpose. Finding your purpose in life is the starting point towards finding your passions. Doing what you love can improve your life quality sharply. It is a hidden energy inside each one of us that is waiting to be released. Moreover, they journey towards finding what we are passionate about can, and will, face many obstacles. However, once we find that unique thing life will be more beautiful. There is a saying “do what you love or love what you do” I agree with the first only.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

People who understand who they are, where they at, and where they want to be are more likely going to achieve what they want. These goals can be both internal and external. Internal personal goals tend to be focused toward what benefit us internally such as improving out altitude towards the world around us or improving our communication skills. These goals are focused on our internal weaknesses or strength. External goals are what we aim to achieve outside ourselvesvs.

 High expectations

What we expect from ourselves will drive us to create goals to meet these expectations. A person who know where they at should set high expectation of them self, high goals to be achieved in a specific period of time. However, when we dealing with others we should lower our expectations.

Yourself

Again, your expectation of your self should be consistent with who you are and what you are capable of. It is not right to rise your expectation from yourself before understanding what is your current statues and resources. With that been said, I believe people who have high expectations from their self are more likely to achieve more in their lives than people with lower expectations. They might not meet their expectations but will get close to it. So if you want to dream then dream big. Higher expectation can lead to higher performance, the opposite is also true for lower expectations.

Others

While it is good to raise the bar when it comes to what we should expect from our selves, that is not the case when we are dealing with others. We can control our actions but we do don’t control other’s actions. We can control our emotions, but we can’t control other’s emotions. Every individual has his own struggles and obstacles that we are not necessary aware of. These struggles and obstacles can lower their performance or make them act in unfavorable way towards us or towards their surroundings.

Robb Rutledge says “Happiness depends not on how well things are going but whether things are going better or worse than expected.”

People are different, they are different in every aspect of life, understanding these differences is the key when we set our expectations. Since we don’t control others actions it is wise to lower our expectations of them.

People around us influence us whither we like it or not. They influence our way of thinking, our decisions, therefore the outcomes we receive.

Surround yourself with people who can help you achieve your goals. If you know where you at and if you know where you want to be you will need to start moving on. If you surround yourself with people who are going to the same destination then the journey will be easier and you will reach your destination faster. For example, if your goal is to have an athletic body and you surround yourself with “gym rats” you will likely to achieve your goal of having that desired body. That result will be achieved in an easier way than if you did it yourself.

On the other hand, if you surround yourself with people who are going to a different direction then your journey will be harder and you will need longer time to reach your destination, if you could reach it. Going back to the gym example and compare the result you will get if you want to have a nice body but your friends have no desire in going to gym. You can achieve your goal but it will be harder on you.

 Some people forego the chance of personal growth and development because they do not have anyone supporting them. They feel that they will not make it on their own. Maybe they need someone who pushes them on when they are close to giving in, or their friends and family are even obviously against their plans. Saoirse OMara

People around us can be obstacles on our way but they can also be an aid that make our experience easier and more beautiful.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

Personal growth is an important factor for anyone seeks happiness and satisfaction in this life. The good news is that desired happiness/satisfaction can be achieved. It is not impossible, and it is doable. On our way from where we at to where we want to be a lot of obstacles will be thrown on our way. Dealing with these obstacles is an essential part of personal growth. There are three obstacles I will highlight, people themselves, bad habits, and surroundings.

The first obstacle many people will face is themselves. I understand that it seems like there are many outer challenges that anyone of us can face. However, the inner obstacles have higher effects on our actions. There are many activities that can be classified as inner obstacles, here are the top three:

First, low self-esteem. Noting can stop a human from advancing in their life like a low self-esteem. I look at it as the top inner obstacle because of its numbing effect. Low self-esteem can produce a low valued dreams; therefore, low achievements and low personal growth. Low self-worth is a product of Low self-esteem, and without a high self-worth personal growth can’t be achieved.

Second, worrying too much about what can happen. Either what will actually happen or what people will feel about you once you fail. Fear is actually a natural emotion just like love and other emotions, but that fear shouldn’t stop you from going to where you want to be. Once fear become an obstacle rather than a protector then you have a problem.

Third, vague or undefined personal goals. So what are your personal goals? What are the things you want to achieve that will improve you personally? If you fail to identify where you at right now and where you want to be then you will definitely gain no personal growth in that section. Failing to identify what parts of your life and personality needs to be improved is an obstacle and you need to pay a close attention to it.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

Getting rude of a bad habit is a rewarding; however, such activity can consume a lot of time and energy. In this blog I will be writing about some strategies to deal with bad habits that can save you some time and energy.

Dealing with multi bad habits

Each human have more than one bad habit, it is a normal part of being a human. Dealing with more than on bad habit can be easier than dealing with one habit at a time. However, this is only true if the two habits are complementary habits. For example, your weight is unhealthy and you wake up late every morning. Those two results could be caused by the fact that you stay up late and eat some unhealthy food all night long. To stop those two bad habits (staying up late and eating unhealthy food) you may be need to wake up early each morning and go to bed early as well. By doing so, you will be not only waking up early every morning, but you will stop eating unhealthy food during the night because you are already asleep. You can use the same approach to deal with other complementary bad habits once you realize their existence.

Dealing with a bad habit that is causing other bad habits

Some bad habits can develop other bad habits. For example, staying up too late can create other bad habits such as drinking and smoking. Knowing the “source habit” and dealing with it first can solve and eliminate the bad habits it created automatically.  Many of our bad habits are caused by another bad habit, target and attack the source first, that will save you a lot of time.

Replacing a bad habit with a good habit

It is good to stop smoking but is even better if you stop smoking and start running at the same time. It is good to stop being rude to others but it’s even better if you start treating them nice at the same time. It is good to stop your addiction to alcohol or to drugs but it is even better if you start developing a habit of helping others stop their addiction to alcohol or to drugs.

Jerome Hines once said “The only proper way to eliminate bad habits is to replace them with good ones.”

Replacing a bad habit with a good one can work as a shield that will protect you from going back to that bad habit again. It is like building a wall around you, a wall of good habits where the bad ones can’t influence you anymore. Stopping bad habit will enhance personal growth. But nothing can enhance and increase personal growth like replacing a bad habit with a good habit. It is like doubling the speed of your personal growth.

What other strategies do you apply to deal with bad habits. Please share your experience with me by commenting bellow.

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Every person has good and bad habits, so unless you think you are perfect, you must have some bad habits at some point of your life, if not all of your life. There are three steps I think will help to deal with bad habits.

Acknowledge its existence

You cannot break a bad habit if you don’t recognize its existence. It is important to know that there are Habits that can be seen by others and habits that can’t be seen or feel by others. The first type is the actions that are noticed by people around you such as smoking, lying, and other bad habits.

The other type is the harder type to recognize, it’s what’s inside you, and it’s what no one else can see or feel but you. Recognizing this deep and personal bad habit is hard because they are unseen and many of them are unnoticed by the individual himself. it is hard to notice their existence because the person is used to them. Such feelings and habits have existed within that individual for a long period of time. They are used to it to the point where it is very normal and natural for them to act that way of feel this way. This type includes things such as jealousy, greedy, not wishing good for others or not wishing them happiness. The list is long but I hope you get my point.

No person can break a bad habit unless they acknowledge it is a habit and it is bad. If someone don’t admit those two parts then they are still in need to acknowledge that habit’s existence.

Understand the reasons behind its existence (when did it start, why, for how long?)

It might be the environment you lived in, the neighborhood you grew up in, or the role models in your life. Every human being was born ignorant and his knowledge is received by many means like parents and people around us. To deal with a bad habit we have to understand how we adopted it in the first place. Understanding such thing will help to control it and stop it.

Control it and stop it.

It is hard to stop a bad habit right away especially if you have been doing it for a long period of time. Therefore, a gradual process can be helpful. A clinical psychologist , Patricia Farrell, commented:

“The more you do it, the more difficult it is to get rid of it, but every single bad habit can be broken”

It is impossible to control and stop a bad habit if you didn’t acknowledge its existence or if you didn’t understand the reasons behind that existence. Moreover, understanding what are the benefits you will receive once you stop such habit.

Nothing can slow down or even block personal growth like bad habits. Knowing what bad habits we have and dealing with them can enhance personal growth and the quality of our life.

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As I wrote in a previous post, knowing where you at, where you want to be, and how to get to there are the elements of sustainable personal growth.  If you find yourself unable to move toward your goal then you are either unaware of where you at, you don’t know where you want to be, or you don’t know how to get to there. If you fail to identify each one of these three element then you will not be able to reach where you want to be. Moreover, you can’t even start the first step.

If you understand who you are and where you at then the easiest way that will help you start moving is to find people like you with similar interests and goals. Spending time with people who share the same goals as you will motivate you and help you to start moving forward. It is also helpful to do some research about people who achieved what you want to achieve and find out how they started. What were their beginnings looked like? Among those people, find out who started at the same level you are at right now, know more about their starts.

Don’t be afraid to try, and don’t get tired of trying, who knows!! Maybe you will find what you are looking for the next time you try. There are many ways which can lead you to where you want; however, some of them are not meant to be open for you, accept that. You will find many open doors but that doesn’t mean they are all open for you, chose wisely. And if anything went wrong then you must know that you can’t change the history but you can only learn the lessons.

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You know there is something has to be changed and you finally have the courage to change it; however, it seems to be a little bit harder than you though to begin that change. Starting that change means you will have to give up many things that are probably holding you down. However, you just can’t leave this environment, relationships, and daily routine; you seem to be unable to leave your comfort zone.

“Comfort zone is a behavioral space where your activities and behaviors fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk. It provides a state of mental security. You benefit in obvious ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress”

Living in the comfort zone is very appealing to most of human. Live is easier, things are normal, and people are nice. It is good to live in your comfort zone as long as you are OK where you at

Comfort zone can be an illusion that will stop you from going behind your current level. When people are attempting to achieve their goals, they are seek a transition from where they are to where they want to be. And to start moving toward where they want to be they have to leave their comfort zone. Leaving comfort zone can be the hardest step. Generally, people cannot start moving toward their goals until they first leave their comfort zone. People who decide to leave such zone can suffer Optimal Anxiety. Optimal Anxiety is the feeling and the discomfort anyone could experience once they leave their comfort zone. Overcoming such feeling is critical for a successful transition. Otherwise, people who cannot fight that feeling are probably going to end up returning back to that comfort zone.

Once we get used to the new level that we achieve the comfort zone will start to shift away from the old level to that new level. That means the comfort zone is movable. You go out of your comfort, meet new people, and become exposed to new ideas. Comfort zone acts like a shield that is protecting you from what is outside. However, what is out there could be amazing. Living in a protected zone is not going to help you achieve what you want.

It is important to know that there are no achievements without challenges and sacrifices, leaving the comfort zone is the first one of all these challenges. As a Wiseman once said “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

So how much of a comfort zone do you have? Marcus Taylor had introduced a toll to measure comfort zone, use it and leave a comment bellow telling us what you learned from it.  For more insights, follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn.

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