Month: March 2016

Every person has good and bad habits, so unless you think you are perfect, you must have some bad habits at some point of your life, if not all of your life. There are three steps I think will help to deal with bad habits.

Acknowledge its existence

You cannot break a bad habit if you don’t recognize its existence. It is important to know that there are Habits that can be seen by others and habits that can’t be seen or feel by others. The first type is the actions that are noticed by people around you such as smoking, lying, and other bad habits.

The other type is the harder type to recognize, it’s what’s inside you, and it’s what no one else can see or feel but you. Recognizing this deep and personal bad habit is hard because they are unseen and many of them are unnoticed by the individual himself. it is hard to notice their existence because the person is used to them. Such feelings and habits have existed within that individual for a long period of time. They are used to it to the point where it is very normal and natural for them to act that way of feel this way. This type includes things such as jealousy, greedy, not wishing good for others or not wishing them happiness. The list is long but I hope you get my point.

No person can break a bad habit unless they acknowledge it is a habit and it is bad. If someone don’t admit those two parts then they are still in need to acknowledge that habit’s existence.

Understand the reasons behind its existence (when did it start, why, for how long?)

It might be the environment you lived in, the neighborhood you grew up in, or the role models in your life. Every human being was born ignorant and his knowledge is received by many means like parents and people around us. To deal with a bad habit we have to understand how we adopted it in the first place. Understanding such thing will help to control it and stop it.

Control it and stop it.

It is hard to stop a bad habit right away especially if you have been doing it for a long period of time. Therefore, a gradual process can be helpful. A clinical psychologist , Patricia Farrell, commented:

“The more you do it, the more difficult it is to get rid of it, but every single bad habit can be broken”

It is impossible to control and stop a bad habit if you didn’t acknowledge its existence or if you didn’t understand the reasons behind that existence. Moreover, understanding what are the benefits you will receive once you stop such habit.

Nothing can slow down or even block personal growth like bad habits. Knowing what bad habits we have and dealing with them can enhance personal growth and the quality of our life.

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As I wrote in a previous post, knowing where you at, where you want to be, and how to get to there are the elements of sustainable personal growth.  If you find yourself unable to move toward your goal then you are either unaware of where you at, you don’t know where you want to be, or you don’t know how to get to there. If you fail to identify each one of these three element then you will not be able to reach where you want to be. Moreover, you can’t even start the first step.

If you understand who you are and where you at then the easiest way that will help you start moving is to find people like you with similar interests and goals. Spending time with people who share the same goals as you will motivate you and help you to start moving forward. It is also helpful to do some research about people who achieved what you want to achieve and find out how they started. What were their beginnings looked like? Among those people, find out who started at the same level you are at right now, know more about their starts.

Don’t be afraid to try, and don’t get tired of trying, who knows!! Maybe you will find what you are looking for the next time you try. There are many ways which can lead you to where you want; however, some of them are not meant to be open for you, accept that. You will find many open doors but that doesn’t mean they are all open for you, chose wisely. And if anything went wrong then you must know that you can’t change the history but you can only learn the lessons.

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You know there is something has to be changed and you finally have the courage to change it; however, it seems to be a little bit harder than you though to begin that change. Starting that change means you will have to give up many things that are probably holding you down. However, you just can’t leave this environment, relationships, and daily routine; you seem to be unable to leave your comfort zone.

“Comfort zone is a behavioral space where your activities and behaviors fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk. It provides a state of mental security. You benefit in obvious ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress”

Living in the comfort zone is very appealing to most of human. Live is easier, things are normal, and people are nice. It is good to live in your comfort zone as long as you are OK where you at

Comfort zone can be an illusion that will stop you from going behind your current level. When people are attempting to achieve their goals, they are seek a transition from where they are to where they want to be. And to start moving toward where they want to be they have to leave their comfort zone. Leaving comfort zone can be the hardest step. Generally, people cannot start moving toward their goals until they first leave their comfort zone. People who decide to leave such zone can suffer Optimal Anxiety. Optimal Anxiety is the feeling and the discomfort anyone could experience once they leave their comfort zone. Overcoming such feeling is critical for a successful transition. Otherwise, people who cannot fight that feeling are probably going to end up returning back to that comfort zone.

Once we get used to the new level that we achieve the comfort zone will start to shift away from the old level to that new level. That means the comfort zone is movable. You go out of your comfort, meet new people, and become exposed to new ideas. Comfort zone acts like a shield that is protecting you from what is outside. However, what is out there could be amazing. Living in a protected zone is not going to help you achieve what you want.

It is important to know that there are no achievements without challenges and sacrifices, leaving the comfort zone is the first one of all these challenges. As a Wiseman once said “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

So how much of a comfort zone do you have? Marcus Taylor had introduced a toll to measure comfort zone, use it and leave a comment bellow telling us what you learned from it.  For more insights, follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn.

 

 

 

 

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The Salt Collective

Being afraid of the failure is a natural thing. People can be cautious and afraid of the unknown, unpredictable, and uncertain. It is OK to be afraid of failure, it is actually part of the first step I have talked about. All of that is understandable. What is not natural though is when that fear becomes the main obstacle that is stopping us from moving forward. Moreover, that fear is stopping many of us from even trying to move forward.

Overcoming fear of failure can be done by doing what you are supposed to do anyway. Just do it, start moving. The most influential speakers were once afraid of failure but they did it anyway. For them, the second speech was more relaxing than the first one. That lead them to be more confident of their performance and. As a result of that they became successful. Successful entrepreneurs have also had that fear at the beginning of their careers. But overcoming that fear was the reason why they made it. The Law of Diminishing Return suggests that this kind of fear will go away gradually as you started taking actions, so start taking actions.

They all had fears but they managed to overcome them. If they didn’t try they wouldn’t reach where they are right now. Overcoming fears doesn’t guarantee desired successes or reaching your final destination, but it will put you on the right track to your final destination. However, not overcoming your fears will take you to nowhere and will deliver no results.

Develop a positive image of yourself and a positive attitude towards your surroundings. Know your self. Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? If you fail then that does not mean you have lost. You could lose money and time while trying to achieve a certain goal, these are an unavoidable losses. But you could gain valuable experiences that you could not gain if you did not try. These experiences and struggles are what going to help you make it the next time you try. So yes, it is possible that you will fail; however, that fear shouldn’t stop you from starting the first step.

 

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If personal growth is a human body, then self-worth is the heart to that body. Self-worth determines the speed as well as the duration of the desired personal growth. I say this simply because you attract to your life the thoughts and the people who match your perceived self-worth. And let me here distinguish between the perceived self-worth and actual self-worth.

Yes, every one of us has these two selves: actual and perceived. Perceived self-worth is the value we give ourselves based on our experiences, relationships, what others say about us, and other outside perspectives. Actual self-worth is who we truly are. In an ideal situation, Perceived Self-worth matches Actual Self-worth. Any differences between those two values of self-worth can lead to problems that will slow Personal Growth. What is more interesting than that, people we surround our self with and the thoughts we allow into our minds are what determine our choices. As a result, we attract to our lives the choices that match our perceived self-worth.

The first step towards improving your self-worth is to know yourself. You can’t improve yourself if you don’t know what level you are at right now. Regardless of what you think about yourself, “You are what you think”. If you think you can then you can, and if you believe you can’t, then you can’t. I am talking about achieving, almost anything in this life. If people underestimate themselves or feel Worthless, then it will be hard for them to achieve their goals. Feeling Worthless can undermine personal growth like nothing else.

It is understandable that many people feel like they are stuck in their lives and feel like they are not going anywhere. However, that feeling should not lead those people to think less of them self or feel like they are worthless. Personal growth depends on an individual perceived self-worth, if that worth is low then Personal growth will be low. A person who love himself can reach higher level of personal growth than a person who love himself less.

Knowing yourself is the first step to discovering your real worth. However, knowing yourself is not enough. While knowing yourself, you have to recognize whatever is holding you back and take the responsibility to change. Recognizing the issue is the first step towards knowing your self-worth. I wrote about the importance of recognizing who you are in the past, check it out.

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In my previous post, I stated that personal growth can be triggered by knowing three things. These things are knowing where you at, Knowing where you want to be, and how to get to there. In this post, I will be touching on the subject of going from where you are to where you want to be. It is a process that has a start and has an end, another start and another end, and so on.

Deciding what areas to focus on can be critical at this stage. If you answered the two questions, where you are and where you want to be, then you know what areas you would want to focus on such as relationships, money, or personal issues. What I suggest, is to start working on your weaknesses first. I said that simply because dealing with your weaknesses first can enhance your personal growth much more than focusing on your strengths. Moreover, your strengths can be overwhelmed by your weaknesses. Think about it.

The first step is the hardest step. Once you start moving toward where you want to be, then you should be aware of what is in front of you. The first step is what you will be facing first. That can be the first book to read and summarize, the first cigarette to reject, the first session at the gym, or the first million dollar to make. Hence, the first step can be short or long, a few minutes or a few years, regardless of its length or difficulty, it is something you have to go through and pass because your success depends on passing it.

According to the law of diminishing return, things will get easier with time. You become aware of doing them, you have more knowledge, and your goal is clearer. The hardest sessions at the gym are the first ones, the hardest cigarettes to reject are the first ones, and the hardest millions to make are the first ones. Things become easier after that and what was a challenge at the beginning will becomes a normal thing to do. What was a dream yesterday became today’s reality.

After you passed the first step, the second one is to be consistent. By starting the first step now you know what going toward your destination feels like and how much effort it takes. Consistency is what will take you to where you want to be. Small steps every day are better than nothing. As long as you know where you are, what you want, and you are consistent with what you are doing, then you will reach your destination, no doubt.

Tell me your experience with the first step. Share this post and follow me on Twitter for more posts like this one.