Positive Core Self-Evaluation

Dismantling the Nice Guy Myth” e-Guide & Podcast – Inspired Love Life  Coaching

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core self-evaluation refers to fundamental evaluation people make of themselves which could determine their perceived worth as individuals. It predicts the ability of an individual to face challenges and difficulties. core self-evaluation is also a good indicator of whether the person will grow emotionally, mentally, financially or not. Studies show that people with positive core self-evaluation tend to achieve more than people with low core self-evaluation. A research found that “People can have high and low CSE, but we can improve our CSE, to boost both our performance and our well-being. High-CSE individuals are generally better at coping with stress, and are less prone to burnout. They’re better at learning from training, more conscientious, and good at leading and inspiring their teams. They seek out appropriate support, maintain a positive outlook, and manage multiple roles and responsibilities, in and out of work. Research in the Journal of Applied Psychology even shows that salaries rise along with CSE!” (mindtools)

There are four components to be evaluated to determine the level of core self-evaluation, wither high or low:

  1. Self Esteem: is one of the most qualities to have which is “a precious psychological resource and generally a highly positive factor in life; it is correlated with achievement, good relationships, and satisfaction. Possessing little self-regard can lead people to become depressed, to fall short of their potential, or to tolerate abusive relationships and situations.” psychologytoday
  2. Self Efficacy: or Confidence, is the optimistic self beliefs in one’s ability to achieve favorable outcomes. Your Self Efficacy is high when your belief in your ability to achieve something outweighs others’ belief that you can’t do it. It is the well of power to believe in your ability to achieve what you desire despite what others might think of you. And no, this is not arrogant. Self efficacy will boost your momentum by unlocking potentials within you. potentials  you never knew existed before. Healthy Self Efficacy Will make you start the first step, followed by the second one until you reach what you desire. It will make you say a word you never said before, and write a letter- or email- you never wrote before to someone you never approached before. It will make you utilize all possible resources to achieve your goal. Without it, your path will be difficult and lonely, and possibly without an end, there will be no light at the end of the tunnel. As Gandhi once said “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.” Gandhi via Miriam Akhtar
  3. Locus of control: Locus of control is the belief that the outcomes of your life depends on internal actions, and not relying on events outside of our control. The type of Locus of control you have will influence how you react when something happens in your life. It will also determine whether you will take action or not. People with internal locus of control tend to live happier lives, make more money, and achieve more. 
  4. Emotional Stability: or Neuroticism, it refers to a person’s ability to stay stable and remain in balance despite what might have happened. People with high Neuroticism are known to have high and often negative emotions. According to Dr. Todd Grande  “Neuroticism tends to decrease as we get older”. High neuroticism can be changed by adopting new behaviors around it. Changing behaviors in a way it adopts new skills such as coping skills and learns to destress. Avoiding substances is also important for someone with high Neuroticism

There is an ongoing debate among scientists about the scope in which core self-evaluation can determine the outcome of an individual. Yet, people with high in core self-evaluations tend to be happier with their choices. That’s true when it comes to their jobs, relationships, money, and their health.

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Strategic Gap Analysis For Personal Goals


To achieve something you want and desire you must move from where you at toward where you want to be. Such dynamic depends on knowing your current situation, knowing your desired destination, and understanding how to get to their (or how to execute your plan). In a previous post I wrote about the art of execution and the importance of knowing how to execute. Understanding the gap between position and the desired position is important. Analyzing that gap is called GAP analyses. GAP analyses is a techniques that is used to analyses and determine steps needed to move from your current place to the desired one. If you have a goal then you should do GAP analyses to help you achieve it. It is like creating a road map to follow which can lead you to achieve what you want.

GAP analyses consist of three elements. First, understanding your real current situation. That can be done by looking at your life and asking others to help you identify your position. If your goal is to increase the level of your monthly income then you need to know how much income you are getting right now. If your goal is to publish a bestselling book then you need to know you current level of writing skills. If your goal is to become a great leader in your community then you need to understand your leadership capabilities right now. Identifying your current situation is a hard step not an easy one. It is hard because it is difficult to accept new facts about yourself that you never believe existed before. The first step is a battle with your ego, you have to win that battle so you can move forward.

Identifying the current situation is important not only because it is the first step to achieve your goal but also because without it you will not be able to move forward to your desired destination. How can finish the race if you don’t know where to start? Think about it.

The remaining two steps in GAP analyse are identifying the desired outcomes and how to get to there. I will discuss them in the following posts.

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Critical Success Factors For Personal Goals

Jamie Paszek

Critical success factors CSF are the elements that are necessary for a project to achieve its goals and become successful. To achieve desired outcomes these factors has to be mastered and controlled. This concept is widely used in projects management whether they are for companies, organizations, or governments.

John F. Rockart, of MIT’s Sloan School of Management stated that the CSF is:

“The limited number of areas in which results, if they are satisfactory, will ensure successful competitive performance for the organization. They are the few key areas where things must go right for the business to flourish. If results in these areas are not adequate, the organization’s efforts for the period will be less than desired.”

Hence, what I am curious about is not the CSF for organizations. Rather than that, I am more interested in applying such concept to individuals. What is that essential thing/things that has to be done in order to achieve what I want? What is that thing that if I don’t do I will never get to where I want to be.

It is important to notice that knowing and understanding your goals is very important. So what are your goals? What do you want to be? What is that achievements you are dreaming of? These are essential questions that you need to answer before any further development can take a place.

Once you understand what you want and once you know what is your current place then it is the time to understand and to apply Critical success factors to your personal goal. If, for example, your goal is to achieve your financial freedom and double your income by next year then your CSF for that goals could be:

(Notice that I made up these factors just to clarify what I mean by CSF)

  1. Create successful relationships with entrepreneur in your area
  2. Work on developing your business idea every single day.
  3. Start a successful business within the next 12 months.

After figuring out CSF for your personal goal it is time to work on setting up goals to achieve and maintain these factors. For example, to achieve the object number 1 ”Create successful relationships with entrepreneur in your area” you have to build a good network. So your goals can be

  1. Go to entrepreneurship events and meetups twice a week.
  2. Build a good friendship with at least two entrepreneur.
  3. Read at least one book a week about entrepreneurship so you can connect easily with other entrepreneur.

You should do the same list for each factor as well. Now you have a roadmap that will guide you to your final destination which is in this case achieving your financial freedom. You can apply this same concept to help you achieve different kinds of goals. Once you decide to change to a better place in your life then you have to figure out what are the Critical success factors for that change. What are the Critical Success Factors to get to top ten universities? What are the Critical Success Factors to become healthy? What are the Critical Success Factors to land the job of your dream? What are the Critical Success Factors to get to become a great mother, father, partner, employee, employer…

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What You Seek is Seeking You




If you have a goal then I hope you are working towards achieving it. If you are not doing that yet then you better do something and start moving sometime soon. But let me ask you this, have you had a goal or a dream that you worked hard to get but you have not achieved it yet? If you had a goal for a long period of time without any desired outcomes then you either seeking something impossible (or unachievable within your lifetime). It is either that or you don’t actually believe in what you want. You simply don’t believe you can make it. There are severe doubts inside your mind and soul that are questioning wither you deserve it or not. You actually don’t believe you deserve it to begin with. This is why you are not getting it. You undervalued what you are capable of which lowered what you could get and achieve.

If you are not hundred percent sure of what you want, and if you are not hundred percent sure that you deserve it, then you should be hundred percent sure that you will never get it. You have to be sure of what you want, and you have to believe that you deserve it. Those are then main two believes you have to clarify first, that is important. You can’t get what is not yours, and it is not yours until you believe it is yours.

What you are seeking is not just seeking you, it is running towards you. All what you have to do it to believe in what you can do. By that I mean to acknowledge where you at right now and what you are capable of. That road can be exhausting and long, but you will get to there once you start moving. You will never get to where you want to be if you don’t believe you can do it. Once you believe in it will be possible. What you are seeking is seeking you and at some point it will meet with you (if you recognize it) or pass by you (if you don’t know what you want and what are you looking for).

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You Become What You Think About

Crowded shopping street
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We become what we think about. That is true. The reason behind that is the matter of fact that our live is shaped by our thoughts. Our thoughts have magical power that can convince us to believe that these thoughts are real and true, which is not true most of the time.  We think a lot during the day, thousands of thoughts come to your mind and mine every single day. That flood of thoughts will strengthen your believes to the point where they become solid and unshakable believes. Now this is dangerous. Why it is dangerous? Well, knowing that most of the thoughts that comes to “a normal person’s mind” are negative. They are negative either because of their destructive effect or because they are inaccurate-unreal.

Once we believe (or not believe) in something it will shape our life. These thoughts will transfer into actions, no doubts about that. If you think you are smart you will act like a smart person. On the other hand, if you think you are stupid then you will act in your daily life according to that. If you believe you are poor then you will act like and become a poor person. But if you think like a rich person and if these thought became strong to the point where they are “unshakable”, then you will be rich.

“Everyday we have 60000 thoughts and most of them are the same as the day before, most of them are negative. We choose to spend our life worrying about what the future might bring, to complain about our present circumstances and about what’s missing in our lives”-Luminita Saviuc.

Your thoughts will direct you and find a way for you to become wealthy. If you think you can then you can, and if you think you can’t then you can’t.

Your life, whether a successful one or not, is your own responsibility. It is your responsibility to find your passion and happiness. It is your responsibility to become a better person and stop these bad habits. It is your own responsibility to overcome obstacles that you are facing. It is your responsibility that your thoughts are under control. If you don’t control these thoughts the media will do it for you, your friends will think for you, others will do it for you. If that happened then your life will follow these thoughts of others. Control your thoughts so you can control your life.

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Destructive Goals

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I do believe that most of human (if not all of them) have dreams and goals. However, I often ask myself a question, why the vast majority of human could not achieve what they wanted to achieve while few of them did? What is the magic? What is the secret? That question was overwhelming, but I needed to know. I reached a conclusion that the main difference that distinguish people who made it to where they wanted to be and people who are still dreaming is that the first party started the first step while the others didn’t.

Dreams and goals can be a constructive power or destructive power depends on your intentions. If you have a dream or a goal then start moving toward it. Otherwise, having that dream could act like a destructive power in your life by holding you down. Let me clarify that. I was talking to a guy who told me that his goal is to start a construction company and become a successful business man. When I asked whether he started anything in that regard he answered me that he will start working toward achieving that goal in 5 years. Here is the problem, he is convincing himself that he has a great goal (which he did) and that he is in the safe zone for now. However, he is fooling himself by waiting for five years before he start anything.

The above goal is an example of a destructive goal (or dream). Such dreams should be avoided at any cost. It makes you feel satisfied like you achieved something, in reality you didn’t. Remember that the first step towards achieving what you want is to leave your comfort zone, destructive goals will not let you leave that zone. If you find yourself surrounded by these kinds of goals and dreams then I wish you a good luck with achieving anything in your life. Keep up with me because I will be writing in my next post about ways to identify these destructive goals.

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Mental Limits



Theo Smart



Your actions are reflection of your thoughts. As I wrote before,  if you believe you can do it then it is possible, but if you believe you can’t then it is impossible. Everything starts with a thought that can be transformed into an action. So it is important to be mentally ready before any actions are taking.

Mental preparation for personal growth comes before acting towards the growth itself. Failing to achieve something physically reveals that you failed to achieve it mentally to begin with. Think about it this way, what makes you stay home and relax while your friend is spending the same moment at the gym? What makes someone spend an extra hour studying for an exam while his classmate is sleeping already? Why is it almost impossible for you to do it (insert goals and dreams) while it is doable for others?

All actions start here in our minds. The next step, the step where we execute our plans, can’t be started until we are mentally ready for it. To prepare yourself mentally for the road you are going to move in, you have to remember why you are starting what you are about to start. Focusing on the ultimate goal can help you a lot. It means remembering all the benefits that you will accumulate if you reach your final destination, feeling it, touching it, and living it mentally. It also means reminding yourself of all the things you could miss and lose if you don’t start moving right away.


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Find And Unleash Your Potential 2-2


Joseph Paris


Nothing make me feel sad like seeing a wasted potential in someone. If you reached a point in your life where you believe that nothing more you can do then you are probably wrong. Discovering your potential is important to know what you can do and to discover your passion. There are often unused power and capability within each one of us that weren’t used and will not be used most of the time.

To discover use your potential you have to first know what it is. What are you capable of doing that you are not doing? To use the power inside each one of us we have to acknowledge its existence. You can find out what potential you might have by asking people who know you. You can also take personality tests that will help you discover your personality. Discover your real value and build on it. You don’t have to develop new skills and knowledge. There is something great within you that you can leverage on and that you can improve later on.

Face your fears and challenge them. Your fears are acting like a wall that is blocking you off. It is stopping you from realizing what potentials you have. Are you afraid of public speaking? You will never discover your potential in that regard until you decide to face your fears and give a speech. Are you afraid of changing your career, habits, and relationships? Face your fears and find out what potential was hiding from you by them. Face your fears and end that uncertainty in your life, once and forever.

Challenge yourself by changing your thoughts. What you know is a function of what you heard, saw, listen to, tasted, or touched. Your believes are formed by things everything you know through these five senses. You have to admit that what you know is way smaller than what you don’t know, open up your mind. Your real potential could be blocked by a wrong believe or a misunderstanding of something.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

Find And Unleash Your Potential 1-2




What is your potential? To be clearer, what is your real potential? I am not talking here about what you can do, I am talking about what you are able to do that you are not doing. During our life we gain knowledge, relationships, and experiences that make us grow and become better people overtime. However, what we have gained cannot be beneficial to us and to the people around us unless we use it. Let me give you an example to clarify what I mean. Imagine that you read a lot of books about the “deafblinds” life and how they can communicate with people. Imagine you know a lot about that subject that you can give a lecture about it or even write a book. That amount of knowledge, connections, and experiences you have about this subject are your potential when it comes to this subject. If that knowledge was not used then the person who has it has a potential power that can be transfer into something meaningful and helpful.

If you don’t use it then that potential can stay within you until the day you die, untouched and sadly unnoticed. So how to take advantage of what you have? To answer this question, first of all, you have to know what you have. You cannot take advantage of something you are unaware of. Knowing yourself and what you have is the first step to understand your potential. I cannot emphasis enough who important this step is. Believe it or not, you can do way better than what you are doing right now, you definitely have the potential to be a better person.

Once we discover our potential then we can control it. We can use it, as well as, add to it. While it is important to find your potential, it is even more important to find the true and real potential not the fake one. You are capable of achieving a lot, however, you might lake some potential that is necessary for certain achievement. Don’t lie to yourself and assume that you have what it takes if you don’t have it. Understanding your true potential includes recognizing things that are out of you reach. With that been said, once you know your true potential then you can grow it and increase it and control it.

What do you think. Share your thoughts with me by commenting bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.

Picture Credit Wearelovely.com 

Achieving True Happiness




As I mentioned in my other post, high expectations should be applied to ourselves not to others. Seeking happiness through giving to others implies that you should rise up your expectations of yourself and lower your expectations of what you are going to receive from others.

Reach out to others and offer your help. Most of people will not ask for help even if they needed it, their dignity is stopping them from asking for it. Help them, give them a hand, and give them hope when they are hopeless. That can be achieved through helping them overcome some obstacles or even dealing with bad habits or any other matters.

“In my life I’ve learned that true happiness comes from giving. Helping others along the way makes you evaluate who you are. I think that love is what we’re all searching for. I haven’t come across anyone who didn’t become a better person through love”— Marla Gibbs.

Once you help someone then complete your action by keeping it between you and them. No one else needs to know about you helping others. If you are doing it so people will know that you are a good person (look at him!! he is so generous and kind) then that all what you will get. You will gain publicity or maybe a good reputation but no true happiness will be achieved. Talking about the good things you did to others can consume the happiness you will be getting before it reaches you.

The ultimate form of nobility is achieved through helping others for no other reason than to help them. The best kind of giving is when you give without seeking any return, not even a small or smaller return on that. Not even happiness. You are giving to others because you feel it is your obligation to help them and that’s it. You might receive back good words, or even good feeling; however, you are doing it without waiting for anything in return.

“Giving back is as good for you as it is for those you are helping, because giving gives you purpose. When you have a purpose-driven life, you’re a happier person” — Goldie Hawn

By giving to others, without attaching any expectations to it, you are actually giving to yourself a lot more than what you give to others. You will be receiving happiness.

Let me know what do you think. Share your thoughts with me leave a comment bellow. Follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn for more content like this.